My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.