They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.

The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.