Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.