Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.

Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.