Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.

The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.