Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.