There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?