I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.

Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?