The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.

When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.