When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.

I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.