I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
Victoria WoodYou know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.
Victoria WoodIf you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.
Victoria WoodI wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
Victoria Wood