Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers

In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.

Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.

I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.

Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.