Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.

I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.

I feel today's society is so judgmental.

Men don't hear women.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.

I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.