Whatever I talk about is what I'm interested in at the time. Politics are big with me. But right now being a mom is taking up most of my time... My act is more family-oriented than it is about politics.

If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.

I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.

Writers get to stay with the piece. They don't just turn the script in and somebody else takes it over and goes out and produces it and edits it and all that stuff. We stay with the piece all the way through.

L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.

It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.

When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank.