I had top-secret clearance and everything. I was working on a couple of projects that would keep me involved in Desert Storm. I was in the mix, which is scary.

Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.

The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

Whatever I talk about is what I'm interested in at the time. Politics are big with me. But right now being a mom is taking up most of my time... My act is more family-oriented than it is about politics.

I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.