Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists; this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

It's easy to see the faults in people, I know; and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.

Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.

Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.