Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

When a fellow ain't got much mind, it don't take him long to make it up.