What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?

A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who he knows know more than he does.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

Course, that's the trouble with politics, it breeds politics! So that makes it pretty hard to stamp out.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.