Every day you meet a delegation going to some convention to try and change the way of somebody else's life.

What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?

The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.