Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.