On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?

There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it.

When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.