You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.