If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?