They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.