There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.