That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.

Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper.

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.