Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

You can't fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn't necessary.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.