Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

What's considered enough money? Just a little bit more.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.