Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

America is the first country where people go to the poor house in their car.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.

You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.