There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Syntax must be bad, having sin and tax in it.

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell 'em.

If you don't have malice in our heart, it doesn't come across harsh.