You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

The US is safest when Congress is in recess.

Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.