Well, the disarmament conference is off to a flying start. There is nothing to prevent their succeeding now but human nature.

The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.