If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.