Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

Common sense ain't common.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?