The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.