We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Texas is a great state. It's the 'Old Man River' of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along!

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.