Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.

No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

People should be more concerned with the return of their principal than the return on their principal.