We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

With all our crime and all our immorality ... and about as much contentment and respose as a fresh-caged hyena, we go to tell the whole world: we are the only one with the right idea!

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.