We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud.

On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.