Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it.

Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.

When a fellow ain't got much mind, it don't take him long to make it up.

Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.