Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to a select few.

Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.

You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.