Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up.

They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

Common sense ain't common.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war.