Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.

Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Show me a healthy community with a healthy economy and I will show you a community that has its green infrastructure in order and understands the relationship between the built and the unbuilt environment.

Originality will be rewarded in any line.

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.