The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.

If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.