There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set.

The US is safest when Congress is in recess.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

Work to make a living; serve to make a life.

Syntax must be bad, having sin and tax in it.