Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off.

The US is safest when Congress is in recess.

I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.