American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off.

If a man ain't nothin' else, then he's an artist. It's the only thing he can claim to be that nobody can prove he ain't.

Common sense ain't common.

We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.