Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.

Course, that's the trouble with politics, it breeds politics! So that makes it pretty hard to stamp out.

Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.

Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.