Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.