Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

America is the first country where people go to the poor house in their car.

Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter...he's just got to know.

I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.