Everyone is a self-made man. Only the successful admit it.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
We have the best Congress that money can buy.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.