When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

If a man ain't nothin' else, then he's an artist. It's the only thing he can claim to be that nobody can prove he ain't.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about; it's the return of my investment

The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

Every man is ignorant - just on different subjects.

Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.