The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.

Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.

There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.