The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war.
The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
That's the trouble with our charities; we are always saving somebody away off, when the fellow next to us ain't eating.
Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper.