It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.