Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

There are three types of men in the world. One type learns from books. One type learns from observations. And one type just has to urinate on the electric fence himself.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights.