The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don't divide the two parties, for under either administration the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.